Rejection

So I am now subjecting this blog to the same fate as my novels - rejection and failure. Today I found out that I had not been selected as one of the five Emerging Bloggers for the Melbourne Writers Festival. For my submission, I had to write up to 500 words on the theme 'Enquire Within'. Although I was slightly doubtful about my 500 words, I did have confidence in this blog being perfect for the gig. I hope that what I write about and the answers that I seek from other writers, publishers and agents respond to many of the questions other emerging writers have.


Earlier this year, I also submitted this blog in the Sydney Writers Centre Best Australian Blogs Award. Whilst I didn't think that it would be the best Australian blog of the year - I did think that it could be in the running for a sub category of new blogs, under 6 months old, or even be on the shortlist for best blogs about writing in Australia.


So I've missed the mark again. To quote Neil Randall - perhaps my writing aspirations, far outweigh my talent. Only time will tell...


When trying to express to my husband how I felt over the news that I had not been selected, I said to him it's like going for a job interview and not getting the job. It's what you feel, when you find out that you're simply not good enough. Some days I don't know how I do it or why I do it - continue putting myself out there, just to be told I'm not good enough.


And the problem with every rejection I get, is that it's not like a race, because I can't see the competition. I have no idea where I have been placed. Was I second? Was I last? Or was I the one that was coming first, but I tripped up half way along? I never know, because I never receive the feedback that I need.


And just as I was feeling really down in the dumps, home with two sick and miserable children, my husband's words from the other night ringing in my ears 'if this was a share house I was living in, I would want to leave' - because the house is never as organised as it should be, because I'm spending every night and every spare moment trying to achieve my dream, and just as I was feeling so rejected and like nothing good was ever going to come of my writing, I heard something dumped by our front door. And when I opened the package left by the postman I discovered two beautiful books from MidnightSun Publishing inside - my very first perk as a blogger. And somehow my faith in this blog and everything I am trying to achieve was restored.